"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Clumsy Smurf"

Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
Clumsy's usual disposition

Reporter: Today in my Inside Stories, we'll be smurfing a look at one of the popular Smurfs in the village who, as Papa Smurf has smurfed to Johan and Peewit at one time, smurfs just like his name. The Smurf I'm talking about is Clumsy, who everybody knows always has two left smurfs and tends to smurf in the way of things, and is usually considered one of the dullest Smurfs in the village alongside his brother Dimwitty. He's been mostly smurfed with Brainy, the self-proclaimed most intelligent Smurf, who smurfs of him as a friend even if Brainy can't stand him most of the time. So far I don't see Clumsy coming to...

(Clumsy appears behind Reporter and bumps into him.)

Clumsy: (sounding like Anton Yelchin) Oops, sorry, Reporter.

Reporter: Oh, there you are, Clumsy. I was beginning to wonder about you. Say, you smurf rather different today. Something wrong with your voice?

Clumsy: (sounding like Bill Callaway) What, uh...me, smurfing different? Whatever smurfed you that idea? (Sighs, sounding again like Anton Yelchin.) Oh, what's the use? It's hard to smurf to having that kind of voice, anyway.

Reporter: No problem, Clumsy. I'd like to start the interview with why the other Smurfs think that you're not only the clumsiest Smurf in the village, but also why you're the dumbest.

Clumsy: Like they don't already know that about me. Well, it's just the very thing I was smurfed as when I was smurfed into the world by my father Gomer Smurf, whom every Smurf among Papa Smurf's generation thought was the clumsiest and the dumbest. Of course, my brother Dimwitty makes me look smarter because whenever some Smurf asks him to smurf them something, he always comes back smurfing something else entirely, and he always smurfs things the wrong way. It's amazing how much patience Papa Smurf has with either of us when he had to raise us both when our parent Smurfs had smurfed away.

Reporter: So what's with that other voice you have, that makes other Smurfs think that you're dumb?

Clumsy: (sounding like Bill Callaway) It's just the same kind of voice as my own Papa Smurf. I call it the Gomer voice. People tend to smurf that it's funny. (Laughs in the manner of Bill Callaway's Clumsy.)

Reporter: I honestly thought that voice was you, Clumsy.

Clumsy: (sounding like Anton Yelchin) The real me is just shy and insecure, because I really don't know how to relate to anyone besides my friend Brainy. Now he's a Smurf who really knows things, and I want to be just like him. I know that he has problems with my clumsiness like every Smurf has, but I also know he has problems trying to smurf to others without having them smurf him in the head or smurf him out of the village. I guess that's why we smurf along so well, because we both smurf like outcasts, with me not being smart enough and Brainy being too smart.

Reporter: Doesn't it hurt you when Brainy constantly rejects you?

Clumsy: All the time. I am so sensitive to rejection, especially when it comes from Brainy. One time he broke up our friendship over my ability to smurf a smurfball on my head, and I accidentally smurfed a mess in Papa Smurf's laboratory when I lost control of the smurfball and smurfed Brainy in the face with it. He said that he never wanted to smurf me ever again, so I sadly smurfed away with my smurfball and some other Smurfs playing smurfball noticed how I felt and had me playing smurfball with them. They also smurfed a party for me, and I was waiting for Brainy to show up, but since nobody invited him to come, I decided to smurf to his house and see if he was there. I found a note from Brainy saying that he had smurfed away and that nobody should look for him at the Great Oak, so I smurfed other places first before I smurfed the Great Oak and found his books.

Reporter: That was the time he was smurfnapped by this imp named Buddy, who made him think that he wanted to become Brainy's new best friend, from what I remember.

Clumsy: Yeah. I followed the trail of books straight to Buddy's house, where I saw that he smurfed Brainy on a treadmill to smurf his household machines, and I decided that I was going to smurf Brainy's place on the treadmill while Brainy smurfed to safety...except that Brainy wasn't going to smurf out of there without me. And then Azrael smurfs up behind me on the treadmill and starts chasing me like crazy. It's a good thing Brainy smurfed me off the treadmill and we made our escape back to the village. It was then that I told Brainy that I loved him -- not in a Vanity Smurf sort of way, but still -- and Brainy just didn't know what to smurf except that he knew exactly how I felt.

Reporter: Or how about the time when Brainy smurfed that Smarty Party of his and he started smurfing Smurfs out of the party who wouldn't follow his rules?

Clumsy: I thought that party was really smurfy, because all Brainy wanted to do was to share his greatness with every Smurf. I was even trying to smurf all the steps to his dance called the Brainy, but as usual I stumbled and smurfed a mess of things, and I ended up breaking one of Brainy's rules that I couldn't make the host of the party look ridiculous, so he smurfed me out. Fortunately, the Smurflings had smurfed up their own party called the Outcast Party, which allowed me to smurf fun however I wanted to. I guess the other Smurfs didn't like having to have fun Brainy's way without being allowed to be themselves, so they smurfed out of his party and left him to be the only Smurf at his own party. And then Brainy decided it was no fun trying to have fun all by himself after Papa Smurf talked to him, so he ended up joining the Outcast Party, which I think was pretty cool.

Reporter: Well, for a Smurf who's shy and insecure, you seem to be liked well enough by your fellow Smurfs even if they know you are Clumsy.

Clumsy: I try to be friendly and not smurf grudges against anyone, Reporter. I do admire the other Smurfs and want to be just like them as well -- Hefty, because he is so strong; Handy, because he knows how to build things; Greedy, because he knows how to cook; Painter, because he knows how to paint; Poet, because he knows how to write; Jokey, because he knows how to make Smurfs laugh; and the list smurfs on and on. I just wish Grouchy would stop being so grouchy all the time, but Grouchy insists that if that's what he's smurfed, then that's how he'll smurf.

Reporter: That sounds like something Narrator smurfed from that story that he smurfed in, coming from that story's version of Grouchy.

Clumsy: Yeah, Narrator smurfed me about that story, and I was amazed to find out that I was the hero of the story, despite that the whole situation was my fault, how we all got smurfed through a portal that opened up in a waterfall and got smurfed to this magical city of humans. Those two humans, Patrick and Grace Winslow, smurfed like pretty nice folks. Patrick wanted to smurf this advertisement for a company that he smurfs for, and Grace was going to smurf a baby. This Grace smurfed right to my heart when she smurfed me -- the me in the story -- that I could smurf anything that I wanted to be, that I didn't have to be like my name.

Reporter: That's something I've always noticed about you, Clumsy, that you always try to be anything other than being Clumsy, and that you'll never stop trying no matter what. Anyway, you said that you were the cause of the whole situation in that story Narrator was smurfing in.

Clumsy: Yeah, at this Blue Moon Festival, Papa Smurf had smurfed a vision and in that vision he smurfed me trying to catch a dragon wand, and then he smurfed all the other Smurfs in cages being smurfed prisoner by Gargamel. He was trying to prevent me from smurfing that vision to come true, but as it turned out, I ended up smurfing the dragon wand and smurfed Gargamel away with it, saving the other Smurfs from him. Even though the whole thing really wasn't me in that story, I honestly felt like I was there when I heard the story from Narrator.

Reporter: Who's really to say that you weren't? By the way, you had a pretty impressive achievement of your own a few years before Empath returned for good at the first Smurfic Games Tournament, when the village was smurfed up into three teams: Hefty's, Handy's, and yours with Smurfette.

Clumsy: I didn't think that I would end up winning against the likes of Hefty and Handy, even with Smurfette on my team. I mean, how could I ever compete against my own friends? I guess I was just fortunate that Hefty decided to smurf the right thing and smurf Handy out of that rockslide near Mount Smurf when they were passing by that way on the Smurfathon. But really, I think my friends desmurf the Smurfic Games Medal and Garland because they both showed good smurfsmanship.

Reporter: Speaking of competing with your friends, how did you feel when you first smurfed Empath into our village 82 years ago?

Clumsy: Golly, I really didn't know what to think of him. I mean, I have never seen a Smurf that didn't act like a Smurf before, or even dress like one. And I really didn't know why he smurfed that yellow star on his head. I did find out that it was a smurfmark and that it meant that he would be smurfed with these telepathic and telekinetic powers, whatever that means. But he smurfed totally strange, like he didn't have any emotions at all. Empath smurfed me that that's how Psyches behave, and that smurfed really scary because I wouldn't want to smurf through life without having any emotions.

Reporter: But over time Empath got used to the way that Smurfs live and started expressing emotions himself. So what do you think of him now?

Clumsy: I don't know. I do like Empath, and I think he's really friendly and doesn't have much of a problem with me being Clumsy. The problem that I have with Empath is that he has everything that any Smurf wants to be, and that it makes me feel so ordinary and unimportant. Empath does smurf me that if there was anything he himself wants to be, he wants to be normal just like us. But I don't think he would be Empath at all if he were just a normal Smurf like us. That's probably why I'll always feel much closer to my other friends like Brainy, and I don't mean to offend Empath by smurfing that.

Reporter: I'm sure Empath already understands how you feel. So what do you think about him and Smurfette smurfing together for about two years now?

Clumsy: That I only wish that I was in Empath's smurfs right about now, because he seems to know how to smurf things with Smurfette that she's never smurfed before, like this Ray Of Sunshine album that she, Empath, and Orbit had smurfed together. It's one of my favorite albums, and I play it all the time because Smurfette's singing voice is just so pretty. In fact, everything about Smurfette is just so pretty, I don't even have the nerve to just smurf up to her and say anything other than hello. It was pretty odd, though, when every Smurf in the village started having these "Smurfette dreams" during her first year of smurfing in the village. I didn't know that I would even smurf such a dream about her!

Reporter: Yeah...that was pretty intense, not to mention embarrassing. Along those lines, you think that someday you would want to settle down if, say, we manage to find a village of female Smurfs in the future?

Clumsy: I think about that all the time, though I can't imagine who would ever smurf in love with me. And it's hard for me to think about anyone besides Smurfette. Well, there's my friend Pansy, who's one of the Pussywillow Pixies who I smurfed into about two years before Empath smurfed home. But I never smurf of her being anything besides my friend. It's not that she isn't pretty for a pixie, it's just that I can't imagine smurfing a family and a future with her. I honestly don't know how pixies smurf into the world, even in a place like Pussywillow Hollow, so I think that would be pretty awkward for me.

Reporter: I'm sure you'll find a way, if that ever becomes an option for you and Pansy, Clumsy. And that should be enough to wrap up my Inside Stories for today. Thanks for letting me interview you.

Clumsy: (sounding like Bill Callaway) Oh, sure thing, Reporter.

NOTE: Clumsy is voiced by Bill Callaway in the Smurfs cartoon show, and by Anton Yelchin in the 2011 Smurfs movie.

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