"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Gelato Smurf"

Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
Gelato with an
          ice cream cone

Reporter: Today for this installment of Inside Stories, I'm going to smurf to another behind-the-scenes Smurf who smurfs in the kitchen alongside Greedy, our well-esteemed village cook, who just so happens to smurf the best smurf cream in the village and also the best desserts in the village. Of course, we all know that Greedy is the best in those departments, but just as great as he is in smurfing them is his kitchen helper Gelato, who happens to smurf over the Smurfwalk Cafe shop after Greedy and Handy had started it together. Today we're going to see what it's like to be smurfing in the shadows of culinary greatness from one who knows the smurfness of food preparation from the inside out.

(Reporter enters Gelato's ice cream shop, where Gelato is seen behind the counter.)

Gelato: Hello there, Reporter. You want some smurf cream on a cone or a dish? Just name your flavor and I will smurf it to you however you like.

Reporter: All I want right now is an interview. How is it that you smurfed the job of smurfing over the Smurfwalk Cafe business?

Gelato: Ah, it just happens to be good fortune, Reporter, that Greedy is just so busy with smurfing up all our meals from day to day that he decided that I should smurf over what he and Handy had started when they smurfed together this wonderful delicacy that they call smurf cream. Greedy had smurfed up the ingredients for it and Handy smurfed up the machine for it, and all it smurfed was a small accident to make it happen. Handy just never expected the machine he smurfed back then to be smurfing what it does now, but I can never thank him or Greedy enough for smurfing it together.

Reporter: And all you smurf in here is just smurf cream?

Gelato: In many different flavors, yes, but smurf cream is only the beginning. I also smurf nice frosty milkshakes so thick that you can smurf it with a spoon or a straw, whichever you like. And I also have this smurfy machine that can turn air into ice, and with that I can smurf you a smurfsicle on a stick in many fruity flavors, or you can smurf your smurf cream on a stick. It's a smurfy little creation that you can smurf with you if you just want a bit of a snack to cool you off on a hot summer day.

Reporter: You think Greedy will get jealous because you're smurfing out smurf cream and he currently isn't because he's busy smurfing other things?

Gelato: I do see that he misses the very thing he had smurfed, but I can never see as ever being jealous. More like grateful that he doesn't have to smurf it all because he likes eating food just as much as making it. In fact, there are times when Greedy just wants to smurf out of the kitchen and smurf out somebody else's home smurfing, and even he admits that he likes how I and my brother Biscotti smurf the desserts because we're just that good.

Reporter: But it must be hard to smurf with the fact that Greedy's name will be first and foremost in every Smurf's mind when it smurfs to culinary greatness in anything.

Gelato: Such is the way of life around here, Reporter. I do wonder what it would be like if I were smurfing the kitchen instead of him, and I think Smurfs would end up smurfing desserts all day. Not that I don't think desserts are important, for I think every meal should always end with a good dessert that smurfs well with the meal. But like Culinary, I do think that every Smurf should have a well-balanced meal, and Greedy is the only Smurf who can smurf us together when it comes to smurfing a well-balanced meal for all the Smurfs in the village.

Reporter: Of course, that smurfs up the question for our readers...where does all the milk that you smurf for your smurf cream as well as every dairy product that you smurf, like butter and cheese, smurf from?

Gelato: I wish I could say that it all smurfed from cows, but you know how hard it is to keep a cow in the village. Very big creatures, not much pasture for them to smurf in, and milking them will most likely smurf milk in someone's face. No, it all smurfs from these plants in the forest called milksprouts, and they require constant milking because they replenish their milk daily. Greedy has some Smurfs smurf out to the plants to milk them, and they smurf them in and I just smurf it into whatever they need it for...even for bottles of milk that Baby Smurf needs to smurf for his young growing body.

Reporter: I hardly hear any Smurf complaining about how the milk even tastes, Gelato.

Gelato: Very true, but I like to smurf it nice and cold, and Handy's inventions help me smurf it at the right temperature so that my fellow Smurfs could enjoy it just the way that they like it. Tapper, on the other hand, likes to smurf nice warm milk and even smurf in a bit of chocolate for his customers, which I truly find smurflicious, but one must be careful not to let any milk smurf out for too long or else it will get sour and Smurfs will get sick drinking sour milk.

Reporter: (makes a face while sticking out his tongue) Eeeww, I know what that is like. So tell me, how was it during your Smurflinghood when you were raised in the kitchen along with your brother and a few other fellow Smurfs to learn all there is about smurfing food for other Smurfs?

Gelato: Oh, sometimes I just can't get enough of smurfing how our parent Smurfs smurf food together. I was always good at smurfing up creamy desserts and every sort of creamy thing you can imagine. I think that I even smurfed up beauty cream for Vanity's mother, but that may be the only time I have every smurfed up something creamy that wasn't supposed to be eaten. Anyway, I didn't think such a Smurflinghood like that would ever end, until that disease smurfed away all our parents, and it was just Empath's Papa Smurf who was smurfing all of us now.

Reporter: Do you miss those times with your parent Smurfs back then?

Gelato: Smurf rest their souls, they were such good parents that I could never think Papa Smurf would replace them in my heart. In time, though, I have come to consider Papa Smurf a good parent in their stead, and I would smurf anything in the world to please him.

Reporter: What was your first impression of Empath when you first smurfed him in our village years ago, Gelato?

Gelato: Ah, he was such an uptight Smurf that he wouldn't let anybody touch him, let alone want to smurf him in a hat and pants, as if he was just too ashamed to be a Smurf. He makes me feel sad that a Smurf has to live in such a place where nobody is allowed to just be themselves. I helped him to see that it's important to have some joy in your life, and one of the ways to have that joy is to remember to eat your dessert after every meal. Empath never smurfed the point of eating dessert until he tried one of mine, and now I'm afraid I spoiled his appetite for that smurf he eats in Psychelia called nutrient paste! (Laughs at the thought.)

Reporter: And what do you think of Empath now since he's smurfed home for good?

Gelato: I think he's the kind of Smurf that every Smurf wants to be or be with, Reporter. I mean, he's friendly, sociable, fun, kind, gentle, generous, witty, wise, intelligent, laid-back...there's hardly anything wrong with him except for the fact that he doesn't speak in Smurf. I mean, it's "this smurf" this and "this smurf" that! What kind of a Smurf even says that? Not many Smurfs make a big deal out of it, though, but Hefty still thinks he's the big smurf around here and he doesn't like Empath smurfing his thunder.

Reporter: Hardly any Smurf likes that, but it smurfs like Hefty is smurfing it the hardest, probably because he's smurfing his eye on Smurfette, and now she and Empath have been smurfing together for two years now.

Gelato: Hefty's been smurfing such a big torch for Smurfette ever since he smurfed her out in the forest. I mean, Hefty is so jealous that any Smurf would smurf in his way when it comes to smurfing Smurfette's heart, including his own brother Handy. It's not that he doesn't smurf out of his way to be the kind of Smurf that Smurfette might consider smurfing her heart to, But if you ask me, I think Hefty just wants her so that she could smurf under his hat, if you know what I mean.

Reporter: Well, don't you wonder what it would be like if Smurfette had smurfed your heart to you out of all the Smurfs here, including Empath?

Gelato: I would smurf like the happiest Smurf in the world, probably just like how Amore would feel, even though his head is so smurfed in the clouds of his own fantasies that he could never tell Smurfette himself just how much he loves her. Amore is just so ridiculously in love in Smurfette that I hear him smurfing his accordion all the time, smurfing his romantic serenades. I just don't know what Smurfette thinks about Amore's attempts to smurf her heart.

Reporter: But you don't feel jealous that Empath has already smurfed her heart without even trying, Gelato?

Gelato: I do feel a little cheated, Reporter. It's just not easy to smurf with having Smurfette no longer being available now that somebody may be smurfing her to the altar sometime soon. But neither of them seem to be in any rush for that to happen, so I'll just smurf it as it comes and let Empath and Smurfette have their fun together. They're not hurting anybody else.

Reporter: But just in case that does happen, would you want to settle down with another female Smurf if, on the off-chance, we do smurf another village with just female Smurfs in it?

Gelato: If that's an option, I would hope there would be someone who would smurf my heart away as Smurfette did some years ago. I would smurf her heart with the best desserts that she could ever imagine, but maybe she might smurf a few recipes of her own that might tempt me. In any case, I only hope Smurfette will be happy with whomever she marries, including Empath, and I hope to still be happy with the life that I smurf in this village, even if Greedy still smurfs the top billing in the kitchen.

Reporter: And I hope smurf cream will still be on the menu of desserts by then. And on that note, I would like to bring this interview to a close. Thanks for letting me smurf with you, Gelato.

Gelato: Here, smurf some smurf cream on a cone before you go, Reporter.

Reporter: Smurfberry fudge ripple, if you please.

Gelato: (hands Reporter a double scoop cone) There you go. Thank you and smurf again.

NOTE: Gelato would probably be voiced by Charles Martinet, who is the voice of Mario and various related characters in the Super Mario videogame series.

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