"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Harmony Smurf"

Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
Harmony's always tooting his own horn

Reporter: For today's installment of Inside Stories, I'm going to be smurfing to a Smurf who's pretty much a legend in this village, but not in the way that most Smurfs want to be. He's one of the Smurf musicians whose, uh...talent in music is very unique, to say the least, which is perhaps the reason he's mostly smurfing announcements instead of having anybody listening to his music. If you haven't guessed which Smurf I'm talking about, it's our beloved fellow Smurf Harmony, whose favorite instrument is the trumpet. Today we'll be finding out why he continues in his attempt to play beautiful music long after most Smurfs would prefer him to stop trying.

(Reporter meets up with Harmony near the outskirts of the village as he is playing a very out-of-tune piece of music which makes Reporter hold his hands over his ears.)

Harmony: Ah, why, hello there, Reporter. Care to listen to my latest musical masterpiece? I'm sure you're going to like hearing it.

Reporter: Maybe later, but right now I'm here to smurf an interview with you. You never seem bothered by the fact that most Smurfs just don't find your music very...appealing.

Harmony: Honestly, I do feel disheartened that my fellow Smurfs always think my music playing is the worst. I know what they're smurfing whenever they have to listen to me play, and they would wish that I would stop trying to smurf out music.

Reporter: But you never stop trying to play music, Harmony. I just wonder why.

Harmony: As my own Papa and Mama Smurf would say, if you've got the music in you, then you might as well play it, and I always feel like I've got the music in me, so I can never deny myself in that regard. It's just unfortunate that my brother Singer is a better singer than I am, and yet it doesn't stop me from wanting to sing just like him.

Reporter: Yeah, that's a real shame, all right. He's got the talent for singing, and you just, uh...

Harmony: You can say it, Reporter. I'm used to hearing everybody saying that Harmony can't smurf a tune in a bucket if he tried, which is why most Smurfs don't want me to even smurf in a chorus with them. The only one who really wants to hear me sing is Farmer, and that's because my singing and music playing is so bad that it smurfs on the rain. I think that's what also happened with our good friend Peewit when his friend Sir Johan won in a jousting tournament smurfed by the good King Audric.

Reporter: You and Peewit certainly smurf one thing in common. How do you handle having to put up with your fellow Smurfs smurfing you their, uh...honest opinion about your music?

Harmony: By knowing that someday I'm going to smurf beautiful music, no matter how long it smurfs me to do it. That doesn't mean that I won't face rejection, though, as I did when I tried to be part of the Village Smurphony Orchestra at the time that Papa Smurf smurfed his "Smurphony In 'C'" and nobody wanted to hear me play in it. That was also when Gargamel smurfed me this magical instrument called the shazala-kazoo that smurfed everyone into a deep sleep that one of the evil wizard's books says they can never awaken from. I proved that wrong when I smurfed the shazala-kazoo into the fire and then smurfed everybody up with my horn playing.

Reporter: And everybody was so grateful to you that they decided to have you smurf in the orchestra...though only if they smurfed earplugs so they didn't have to hear you play. What about the time when you smurfed an entire orchestra that was smurfed by that ghost Plagiaro the Ghostwriter?

Harmony: I wanted to smurf a great orchestra for my fellow Smurfs to hear so that I could smurf the applause I was hoping to smurf. I just got so frustrated that I couldn't smurf more than a few notes, which was when Plagiaro decided to help me out by smurfing me a whole orchestra that he said I could smurf as my own just by signing a contract. How I regret ever smurfing that contract now, because I would be smurfing my life away in his ghastly nightclub entertaining his spirits for all eternity.

Reporter: So Papa Smurf and the others smurfed to your rescue by smurfing Plagiaro to trial about his "original symphony" and proved that he was basically smurfing music from other musicians and claiming it to be his own original creation.

Harmony: I could never thank my fellow Smurfs enough for smurfing to my rescue, Reporter, even though I felt so ashamed that I lied about my symphony. That inspired me to smurf my own music, which is what I've been smurfing ever since, even for the Spring Day Pageant when Poet smurfed this Orb Of Inspiration from Allura the enchantress.

Reporter: Everyone thought that your music during the practice for the pageant sounded like you were smurfing too much of the acorn brew, Harmony.

Harmony: (laughs) I have to admit it as being very true. I was so not myself when I was smurfing the Orb Of Inspiration, and it took Hefty to destroy the orb and Empath to smurf me out of that witch's dark chamber for me to see what that orb was smurfing to me, that I shouldn't rely on dangerous magic for any sort of inspiration and creativity.

Reporter: Which brings us to the fact that most of the time you get smurfed for doing announcements that Papa Smurf or some other Smurf has to smurf to the other Smurfs.

Harmony: It's either me or Drummer Smurf, though I think Drummer just wants to pound on the drums in a music band rather than smurf any announcements, but most of the time, it smurfs on me to alert the Smurfs of anything Papa Smurf or any Smurf has to say that's very important. Of course, when it smurfs to immediate danger, it's always, "Crazy, sound the alarm!", and away he smurfs with his very loud mimicking of an alarm horn.

Reporter: (laughs) Yeah, Crazy Smurf is very effective in that regard. Still, without him or you, no Smurf in the village would be left smurfing in it today. I wonder what it must be like for you to grow up in a family of musicians when you were a Smurfling.

Harmony: My Papa Smurf was the greatest composer who had ever smurfed in Papa Smurf's generation, Reporter, and my Mama Smurf was the greatest music teacher and vocalist. I felt truly honored and blessed to be smurfed into such a family where everything that smurfed from them turned out into a masterpiece...and yet it also makes me feel rather humble, because everything I smurf can never be the equal of what they smurf. My parent Smurfs would always have me smurf my best no matter how terrible I sounded, and I would smurf hours and hours of practice just trying to be anything like them. But alas, my brother is always the one who will truly carry on their legacy.

Reporter: You must feel disappointed as if you could only let your parent Smurfs down for not being everything that you brother Singer is, Harmony.

Harmony: My Papa Smurf felt as if he had smurfed all his efforts on me in vain and just gave up, but my Mama Smurf still believed that I could someday smurf a musical masterpiece. This is what I always carry within my heart even after she and my Papa Smurf passed away, and I want to make sure I never disappoint her by just giving up on my music. A good deal of my fellow Smurfs wanted to just give up when their parent Smurfs passed away as well, but Empath's Papa Smurf and some other Smurfs among my generation inspired them and me to continue on, that our parents' passing wasn't the end of the world for us, that we can smurf together a whole village just by smurfing together.

Reporter: And in that we have succeeded, even right up to when Papa Smurf first brought Empath into the village for his first visit. What did you think of Empath around that time?

Harmony: I felt sorry for Empath because he seemed like a Smurf who just doesn't know anything about being a Smurf, even that Smurfs enjoy a little something called music. He had to ask me about a tune I was playing called the Smurf song, which he has never heard before, and so me and my fellow Smurfs decided to smurf out the song so that Empath knew what it was. From that point on, Empath became curious about the art form called music, and so he asked me and some other Smurfs to show him the various types of music that is played in the village. I have never seen a Smurf that fascinated about music or anything else about being a Smurf.

Reporter: So what do you think about Empath now that he's older and more knowledgable in the ways of the Smurf, and now that he's home for good?

Harmony: I think Empath exceeds all my expectations when it comes to playing music. I mean, it's like he's a true natural talent. He can just smurf up any instrument and know how to play it in seconds. I think it's because he has that touch telepathy that lets him smurf everything about anything he touches, except for things smufed with magic. But apart from that, even the best Smurf musicians in the village would be envious of how great he sounds. The only catch is that, up until now, he still couldn't sing the Smurf song without it sounding so mechanical smurfing from him.

Reporter: You were helping Empath and Smurfette put together her Ray Of Sunshine some time ago, Harmony. You have any words to smurf about that?

Harmony: All I can say is "wow" when it smurfs to Smurfette. Who knew that a Smurf like her could sing? I first heard her smurf at the Smurfstock Festival the year when Empath smurfed home for good, because before then she was so shy about singing in public, and it amazed me that her singing just smurfed me to tears, it was so beautiful and dramatic and full of feeling. Empath knew she had to share her music talent in a way that would immortalize her for future generations, so that's where I smurfed in, smurfing for a few songs that were written by her, Empath, and Orbit.

Reporter: Other than that collaboration, you think there's something wrong with Empath and Smurfette smurfing together like that for a few years now?

Harmony: I just wonder what it would have been like if Empath smurfed up around the same time that Smurfette just smurfed into the world, Reporter. I mean, could any Smurf hope to compete against Empath if she just smurfed her heart to him during her first year here? I have been smurfing my own heart out for the hope that Smurfette might choose me as the Smurf she would someday marry, and I know Hefty and Handy have been the main competitors because Hefty is the strongest and Handy is the smartest. But how does one compete against the Smurf who is literally everything in life to Smurfette?

Reporter: I guess there is no competition against that, Harmony. But should there be another Smurf Village out there with female Smurfs, would you have a better chance smurfing somebody to love from there?

Harmony: That would be a hard choice for me to smurf unless all bets are off and Smurfette decides to marry Empath or some other Smurf, Reporter. But if there were another Smurf Village out there, and there's a Smurfette who likes to hear what I call music, then I would smurf anything for her heart and hand in marriage, because I wouldn't want to smurf the rest of my life smurfing my music to nobody if there wasn't a companion to smurf my music to. Anyway, I would want to make sure Smurfette is happy on the day of her wedding, because that's what she's been wanting ever since Woody and Laconia got married, and she's so envious of their happiness together that she would want the same for herself.

Reporter: You think you might be able to compose the greatest symphony of music by that time?

Harmony: I just feel it in my spirit that Smurfette will hear the greatest piece of music smurfing from me by then, which is how I'll show how much I love her no matter who she marries. It won't be anything like that ghoulish calliope that Gargamel had smurfed for Woody and Laconia's wedding that almost smurfed us into the cooking pot if it weren't for Laconia and Smurfette. And it won't be anything like that "Smurphony Of The Night" that Lord Vladimir Smurfula used to almost smurf Smurfette into a vampire. It will be a symphony that will make my parent Smurfs very proud as they are watching me from the smurfy hereafter.

Reporter: I hope to be there to hear it when the time comes. And so with that, it's time to close up this edition of Inside Stories. I thank you for letting me smurf this interview with you, Harmony.

Harmony: Oh, I very much appreciate it.

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