"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Wild Smurf"

Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo

Reporter: This is Reporter Smurf of the Smurf Village Voice, smurfing to you from inside the Smurf Forest, waiting for the legendary Smurf to appear. The "legendary Smurf" I'm talking about is Wild Smurf, who has been smurfed in recent years helping out his fellow Smurfs, and eventually had smurfed his first appearance in the Smurf Village. However, though his fellow Smurfs have accepted him as one of their own, Wild still prefers to smurf out in the forest with his family and friends, the squirrels. Today, we would like to ask him why he prefers the company of squirrels instead of his fellow Smurfs. Wait, I think I can hear him now.

(Wild is seen swinging from branch to branch, until he arrives on the branch that Reporter is standing on.)

Wild: Me glad to see you, Reporter.

Reporter: I'm glad to see you as well, Wild. You've been smurfing me a lot of news reports over the years about your brief appearances among your fellow Smurfs.

Wild: Me like to rescue my fellow Smurfs. Me don't want to see them get hurt.

Reporter: And I'm happy that you come to our rescue time and again. But I wonder why you don't like to smurf around to talk to your fellow Smurfs whenever you do rescue them.

Wild: Oh, me like to be with my friends and family in the forest. Me have little time to spend with my fellow Smurfs.

Reporter: But before you made your first official appearance to the Smurfs, you were so...fierce. You didn't like to interact with anyone, including your fellow Smurfs. Why is that?

Wild: Me not fierce! Me just don't like being domesticated, or whatever you call it!

Reporter: Well, we can settle that some other time. I think the big thing we want to know is why you think the squirrels are your family instead of your fellow Smurfs.

Wild: Me have been raised by squirrels since a baby. Me have only known the squirrels for all that time. Me never want to be without my family in the forest. They have been so good to me. They raised me as one of their own.

Reporter: But how did you feel when you found out that you smurfed from us, your fellow Smurfs, in the village? I mean, you were smurfed around the same time that we were smurfed into this world, but your parents lost you when you were an infant.

Wild: Me not happy to find out truth. Me wish I never knew that about myself.

Reporter: But when did you find out that you were different from the squirrels that raised you?

Wild: The squirrel mother that raised me died when I was young. Me was adopted by many other squirrels since then. Then me found that Smurf with the star mark when he was lost in the forest, when it was cold and snowy.

Reporter: You were the one that came across Empath in the woods? We were wondering at the time when we almost lost him that Winter Solstice.

Wild: Me treated Empath back to health. He showed me the funny hat that he was wearing. He called it a Smurf hat. Me make my own hat out of dried leaves. Me wear it for the first time. Me feel like a Smurf.

Reporter: But apparently Empath didn't reveal your existence to his fellow Smurfs at the time.

Wild: Me not ready to appear before other Smurfs. Me feel ashamed at the time.

Reporter: Well, you don't smurf to be ashamed appearing before them now. In fact, you smurf to like having a connection with your fellow Smurfs, including Smurfette, whom you smurf to like very much.

Wild: (Lets out a howl.) Me really like Smurfette. Me thinks she would be a perfect mate.

Reporter: But how do you handle the fact, if you aren't already aware of it, that Empath and Smurfette smurf to be an item together, that they may someday end up being married?

Wild: Me think Smurfette will make right choice. Me not worried if it's not me.

Reporter: That's a hard smurf to swallow, smurfing your whole life without a mate. Would you feel better if there were a whole village of female Smurfs for you to choose a mate from, if one even exists?

Wild: Me be interested in that. Maybe there's one who would like to smurf in the forest like me.

Reporter: Anyway, back to the discussion at hand. How do you feel knowing that Empath has smurfed you the ability to speak? Do you feel any different from how you were before?

Wild: Me feel like a changed Smurf. But me still communicates with my fellow squirrels out in the forest. Me feel kinship with them.

Reporter: I guess that smurf about you will never change. That is probably why you get upset when somebody calls your friend Chitter a pet.

Wild: Me no like anyone call Chitter a pet. Me no master of Chitter. Chitter and I are equals.

Reporter: But all the same, do you think that someday you might smurf like your fellow Smurfs, maybe not speak the way that you do now?

Wild: Me not know the future to answer that. Me only know that this is how I talk.

Reporter: And you're smurfing a good job of talking now. I wonder how you think of yourself knowing that you and Empath both protect the Smurfs and the forest from dangers such as Severus and Jeanty.

Wild: Me protect more than just Smurfs in the forest. Me also protect the animals that are my friends.

Reporter: But don't the likes of Severus scare you?

Wild: Me not afraid of the giants. Me handle them my way, to make sure they don't hurt my friends.

Reporter: Well, you'd certainly have to had the smurfs to rescue your friends from people like Severus if you were facing them alone in the forest. No wonder the other Smurfs feared your presence in the forest at night.

Wild: Me never use darkness to scare my fellow Smurfs. Me use darkness to scare their enemies. Me no like to see my friends get smurfed by anyone.

Reporter: Do you think other Smurfs might appreciate the things you smurf for them out in the forest, that someone may want to smurf the things that you smurf?

Wild: Me like Nat Smurfling. He likes to smurf in the forest with his animal friends. Me think he will smurf a good guardian of the forest when I am gone.

Reporter: What about Baby Smurf?

Wild: Forest is no place for a Baby Smurf. Me see him grow up to decide where he wants to smurf.

Reporter: What if, on the off-chance that we do find female Smurfs to marry, you want to smurf a child of your own? What kind of parent do you think you will be?

Wild: Me be very watchful of my child, to make sure he doesn't smurf the things that I wouldn't smurf. But me no want to resmurf his desire to explore.

Reporter: And there you have it, Smurfs! This will wrap up my interview right here...thanks for appearing, Wild.

Wild: Peace out!

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