"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Handy Smurf"

Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
Handy's got all his gear,
            ready to work on something
Reporter: From what information I managed to smurf from Hefty in his interview, he feels sort of smurfed down because, at a time when many of us Smurfs lost our own Papa and Mama Smurfs years ago, Empath's own Papa Smurf had appointed Hefty as his assistant supervisor who helped smurf all of us into one united functioning community, despite some smurfonality conflicts he had. Nowadays, his efforts are barely noticed because of Empath, who upon his first visit to the Smurf Village smurfed up for Grouchy when Hefty was bullying him around. Interestingly, Hefty also has a discontent for Handy and his inventions, even though the both of them are brothers born to a Papa Smurf who had both their talents. Could it be that Handy smurfs Empath in a different light than how Hefty smurfs him? Let's find out!

(Reporter finds Handy in his workshop, getting greasy fixing up his smurfplane.)

Reporter: Handy, would you mind smurfing me to interview you for my Inside Stories?

Handy: Smurf on a minute, Reporter...just need to smurf this tightened up a bit.

(Reporter stands and watches as Handy grunts and groans turning a monkey wrench, fastening a nut on the smurfplane's engine, then exhales in relief.)

Handy: There, that should smurf it! I could smurf some time for an interview, but I need to check on that engine to make sure it's smurfing perfectly.

Reporter: This smurfplane invention of yours is fascinating. I'm just wondering why you don't smurf it out as often except for those rare occasions.

Handy: (wipes the grease off his hands and arms with a towel) Well, part of the reason is that this machine does smurf up a lot of hard work, and it also smurfs up a lot of fuel, too. I'm glad Recycler helped me smurf up a way to turn part of Farmer's compost pile of garbage into engine fuel for the smurfplane, but I don't want to keep smurfing this thing up there when we don't need to. That really smurfs me, because I actually invented this thing in the hopes that I just want to fly it anywhere at anytime, too.

Reporter: You seem to be smurfed with the ability to build and fix things, even when you don't have a plan for it smurfed up on a drawing board. What made you decide on smurfing this as your lifelong ambition?

Handy: I didn't decide on anything, Reporter, I just was born with the desire to smurf things with my hands. One of my favorite things to smurf with when I was a baby Smurf was my own Papa Smurf's tool chest and work bench. My own Mama Smurf complained whenever she smurfed me there smurfing on something, saying that a baby Smurf shouldn't be smurfing with dangerous equipment smurfing around. My Papa Smurf, however, always smurfed up for me, saying that I was his little man Smurf, never letting anything smurf in my way of smurfing something, and he always smurfs those manly grunts, too. Arrr arrr arrr! (Smiles fondly at the memory.)

Reporter: Your Papa Smurf also admired Hefty's desire for smurfing his body up, and Hefty claims that your Papa Smurf admired him more than he did you, partly because he was born first, even though you and him are twin brothers. How does that make you feel?

Handy: Hefty and I are always at odds with each other. He thinks that the best gift he smurfed from my Papa Smurf was being strong, like that's the only thing that could make him a Smurf in any Smurf's eyes. He could tell other Smurfs what to do and get them to smurf it with no questions asked, but I was the Smurf who could smurf them how to smurf it, and in some cases how to smurf it better. Without me in the village, Hefty's job as the assistant supervisor to Papa Smurf wouldn't have smurfed along smoothly and everything would have smurfed apart on him. So if he thinks he was loved more by my Papa Smurf and by Empath's own Papa Smurf because of what he can smurf, or by being the firstborn of any Smurf here, then that is his ego smurfing!

Reporter: "Your Papa Smurf", "Empath's Papa Smurf"...smurfs like nowadays, every Smurf has a hard time referring to Papa Smurf as just Papa Smurf.

Handy: I know, Reporter. Years ago, I felt lost without my own Papa Smurf to stand beside me and watch me grow up, and then Empath's Papa Smurf came and smurfed us all as one big family, as his own little Smurfs because he was the only adult Smurf left. I felt so shameful because I had to let go of the memory of my Papa and Mama Smurf, but now I realize if my parents didn't help Empath's Papa Smurf become confident enough to lead a village of young Smurfs by himsmurf, I wouldn't have felt proud to call him Papa Smurf. Nowadays, with Empath knowing the truth about his Papa Smurf, I can feel secure in saying that I had two Papa Smurfs in my life that truly cared for and about me.

Reporter: Hefty also believes that we don't really need Empath smurfing in the village with his "third eye" abilities. I wonder if you also smurf Empath the same way.

Handy: I admit that Empath does make me jealous. I mean, what other Smurf can actually smurf all the things that he can, such as smurfing into other people's minds, being able to smurf a book without opening it up to smurf it, smurf up things bigger than himsmurf with his own two smurfs, and even fly without needing a stork? He isn't like Papa Smurf, being a powerful sorcerer and all, but then again he doesn't even have to be like Papa Smurf. In any case, I don't think Empath is unnecessary at all, especially since he smurfed Hefty a lesson for smurfing on our other brother Grouchy. Without his presence, I wouldn't have even smurfed of the idea for building something for flying.

Reporter: Or for smurfing up a mechanical Smurf like Clockwork, I presume?

Handy: That, too. I mean, Empath only came home once every ten years to smurf with us for one year, and then the other nine years we had to smurf on without him. Eventually, I figured why not try building a mechanical Smurf that can match Empath's strength and speed, being able to smurf important things that only Empath could smurf like clockwork, and so the idea for smurfing Clockwork Smurf was born. The one thing I never smurfed on was Clockwork being aware of himsmurf and smurfing away from the village, only to help that teenage human Prince Gerard smurf control of his kingdom away from his nasty aunt Imperia. It surprised the smurf out of me, but I'm proud in a Papa Smurf sort of way that Clockwork smurfed out far better than I hoped for.

Reporter: I remember you were also heartbroken when Clockwork was smurfed by a lightning bolt and was nearly destroyed. But what made you decide to rebuild Clockwork into his current form -- with the water-smurfing hat and all?

Handy: Basically realizing that my other creation, Clockwork Smurfette, whom I smurfed as a companion for Clockwork Smurf, would be lonely without him smurfing in her life, even though she still smurfs with King Gerard. Fortunately, some things of Clockwork like his mechanical "brain" and his heart of gold weren't destroyed, so I smurfed them from the ashes of the old Clockwork Smurf and smurfed them into a new body smurfed with the latest enhancements like full speech smurfability, telesmurfic vision, increased hearing range like Tracker's, and many other things. But even with these enhancements, he's still the same old Clockwork Smurf on the inside. He even helped Empath and Polaris Psyche smurf out those Chimpanzians who were smurfing us like we were test subjects in Papa Smurf's laboratory.

Reporter: How do you feel knowing that this "new and improved" Clockwork Smurf is now the proud parent of a Baby Clockwork Smurf -- not to mention the leader of a village full of Clockwork Smurfs?

Handy: I remember feeling stunned when Empath smurfed me that news after he, Smurfette, Brainy, Polaris, and the Smurflings attended the wedding of King Gerard. I truly didn't expect mysmurf to be a "Grandpa Smurf" of sorts at my young age! (Chuckles at that thought.) I have yet to smurf the little mechanical miracle he and Clockwork Smurfette had smurfed together, but I suspect as long as he was created out of love, this Baby Clockwork would be just as wonderful to smurf with as Baby Smurf is to every Smurf here.

Reporter: It's surprising that of the many inventions you smurfed up with, Handy, that only a few of them ever manage to survive. The weather-smurfing machine, the smurfomatic smurfulator, the telesmurf, the window-vision, the smurfmobile, the smurfominium you smurfed up with Architect, the food harvester -- those inventions are already memories, not to be smurfed again. But the instant photo-smurfer, the smurfplane, the Imaginarium, the Clockwork Smurfs, and the crystal disk smurfer are still around, and even Papa Smurf can be found smurfing with other wizards on the "mirror-net". What's with those inventions surviving?

Handy: I can't help trying to create something that would benefit every Smurf, that would make life in the Smurf Village less burdensome, even if there are Smurfs who'd rather smurf things the old-fashioned way. It's just like what Orbit smurfed, some things were just meant to be smurfed in this day and age and some things just weren't. Even now, I can see how some of my inventions like the weather-smurfing machine can smurf havoc on the environment, or make Smurfs appreciate the hard work of the village even less like the food harvester, or simply are way ahead of their time like the smurfominium. The smurfomatic smurfulator was simply a "dream machine", something Tapper said I was meant to smurf for only one purpose and only one occasion -- and I sure smurfed that out when Gargamel smurfed those tall weed seeds all over the village and the forest. But if I had to smurf my life over, all of those inventions would still be smurfed up by me, even if not a single Smurf would use them except for me.

Reporter: Let's move away from smurfing about inventions and let's smurf about the one Smurf every male Smurf thinks about -- Smurfette. One time you and Hefty were competing against each other for the heart of Smurfette, and now Smurfette is mostly smurfing around with Empath and smurfing her own things like the Ray Of Sunshine album smurfed with your crystal disk smurfer. Do you think Smurfette is doing something unsmurfy with hersmurf by being around Empath all the time or what?

Handy: You're asking if I'm jealous of Empath being mostly on Smurfette's mind nowadays, I can smurf that I am. But if you think I'm angry with Empath or Smurfette for that, then nothing can be smurfer from the truth. Nothing can make me smurfier than seeing Smurfette being happy with whoever she smurfs her heart to, as long as it isn't with Papa Smurf. And strangely, I don't see any Smurf who can make Smurfette feel happy about being hersmurf other than Empath. Personally, I can't help loving Smurfette, but I would never know what Smurfette could smurf in me more than any other Smurf besides Empath. As for her album, I actually enjoy listening to Smurfette singing, though I wish she would smurf some show tunes like the ones from that Webber Smurf musical Smurfita, like "Don't Smurf For Me, True Believers!"

Reporter: You also had your smurfs on that mermaid Marina who had smurfed up the River Smurf to find a cure for her ailing father. Do you think you and Marina will ever smurf together for all time or what?

Handy: I can only hope so. Back then, I didn't even think I would smurf in love with a mermaid, and then I was smurfing out my deep-sea smurfing gear with the smurferator by the River Smurf, and there she was, smurfing her way downstream unconscious. I couldn't help smurfing like I would smurf anything in the world for her, and after we helped her find the cure, I felt heartbroken because she had to leave. We still smurf to each other from time to time, she lets me know how things are in Atlantica and how much she still cares for me, I smurf to her about what smurfs on here. It's a strange relationship because I have to smurf on land and she has to smurf in the sea, but in the end I think something will smurf out between us.

(Handy is interrupted by the far-off sound of plates breaking from another part of the village, followed by some loud cursing.)

Handy: Ah, son of a smurf, Greedy's dishsmurfing machine must be going smurfy on him again! And I thought I had that darn thing smurfed up, too! (He grabs his toolbox and starts heading out of his workshop.) Sorry, Reporter, I'm going to have to end this interview right now and smurf Greedy a hand with the dishsmurfer.

Reporter: (calling out after him) No problem, Handy. I've smurfed all that I need for my Inside Story. Thanks, anyway.
NOTE: Handy is voiced in the cartoon show by Michael Bell.

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