EMPATH: THE LUCKIEST SMURF
"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Smurfette"
Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
Reporter: Now we're going to smurf our
attention to the one Smurf that Empath's got his smurfs on --
our lovely angel in blue, Smurfette. Since her arrival in the
village seven years ago, Smurfette has been the object of every
Smurf's affections, and even I would be lying to mysmurf if I
didn't say that I love Smurfette. Of course, in these past two
years, Smurfette hasn't been the same young female Smurf that
couldn't decide which Smurf she would rather be with for all
time. Could it be that "the luckiest Smurf" in all of Smurfland
has given her something that no Smurf could ever hope to offer
her? Let's smurf with her and find out.
(Smurfette emerges wearing what looks like a watery blue dress
similar to what Madonna wore for the Ray Of Light album cover,
with similarly styled hair. She sits down on a deep furry sofa.)
Reporter: Well, that smurftainly is a new look for you,
Smurfette. I used to remember you had a closet full of similar
white dresses that I thought looked real smurfy on you. And your
hair! It's so wild and a bit more feminine than it used to be.
Smurfette: (makes a brief face of disgust and then
laughs.) I can't believe I actually liked wearing the same old
smurf day after day after day. And after all those years, I
didn't think anyone actually thought of how I smurfed wearing
any of that, or even how my hair looked. Well, if it weren't for
that imp Materielle, I would still be wearing those smurf-awful
bland white dresses and that same old hairstyle. But anyway,
thanks for the compliment, Reporter. I'm glad that some Smurf
noticed! Brainy and Grouchy weren't very fond of that Materielle
Reporter: Does Empath ever actually notice what you are
Smurfette: I think Empath smurfs a bit more of what's
inside me than what I happen to be wearing. He doesn't make a
very big deal about it, either way. All he ever smurfs is that I
look beautiful no matter what I wear, and I feel happy about
mysmurf when he says that.
Reporter: Apparently, you and Empath happen to be the
constant talk of the village, since most Smurfs see the two of
you together a lot. Are you two really in love with each other?
Smurfette: Right now, we're just very good friends.
Empath and I...well, we're not yet at the point of really
smurfing how we truly feel about each other, but I do feel this
attraction to him, and I can smurf that he feels something
toward me. He just isn't like all the other Smurfs...I mean,
besides having these powers and a star mark on his forehead.
Reporter: You mean, he actually listens to you?
Smurfette: Right, and he doesn't smurf me as some
bubbleheaded blonde! Of course, I wasn't originally blond, but
then I wasn't originally a Smurf, either! (Laughs at that
thought.) More to the point, he actually cares about me, about
what I think.
Reporter: Now how does your relationship with Empath
change how you feel about all your fellow Smurfs in the village,
Smurfette: I still love my fellow Smurfs, I just find it
a bit harder to love them the same way I did seven years ago. I
don't mean to hurt any Smurf's feelings, not back then and not
even now, but even a girl Smurf has to find who she truly loves
smurfer or later. Who would have known that somebody named
Empath would smurf into my life like that?
Reporter: There's still persistent rumors that Papa
Smurf's in love with you as well....I mean, like how every
single Smurf in the village loves you.
Smurfette: Those are just rumors! Papa Smurf loves me,
and I love him, but we're like father and daughter, not like
Smurf and Smurfette here. Any Smurf who can't see that should go
to Empath to get their smurf examined.
Reporter: Okay, getting back to Empath...do you think
that the both of you would ever smurf the knot together?
Smurfette: Gee, and I thought this interview was about
me. Well, if you must know, I'm still smurfing of who I would
want to marry someday. I don't know if Empath's smurfing the
same thing, but we're taking our time about it, and we'll smurf
that bridge when we come to it, even if it means that Empath or
me would smurf somebody else.
Reporter: What if that somebody else turns out to be
his...uh, friend, Polaris Psyche?
Smurfette: Him and Polaris Psyche?!? Oh, please! Empath
isn't even like that!
Reporter: Well, Empath and Polaris have been very good
friends, and they've also been smurfed together a lot as well.
You think there's something smurfing on between them that you
should know about? I mean, how do you feel about Polaris?
Smurfette: Empath told me that Polaris is a bit too
afraid of smurfing physically close to another being. And that I
can honestly believe, because I never really smurf Polaris with
any other Smurf except for Empath, and those two don't even
smurf each other...well, in that sense! As for how I feel about
Polaris...he's as courteous as Empath, though he smurfs a bit
more distant, like he doesn't know whether to smurf like one of
us or smurf back where he came from. I just wish there's
somebody in his life that could care for him other than Empath.
Reporter: Now, onto another subject...most Smurfs don't
think you have a real vocation here in the village, or that the
best vocation you're smurfed for is taking care of Baby Smurf
and the Smurflings.
Smurfette: Well, it's very brave and very typical of a
male Smurf to say those things, but to get a male Smurf besides
Empath or Papa Smurf to change Baby Smurf's didey is a real
challenge. Most Smurfs would rather do anything else than that!
Besides, what do most Smurfs know about nurturing anyway? Making
things beautiful isn't any less a worthwhile contribution to the
community than doing hard physical labor. Anyway, it gives me
more time to be a people kind of Smurf than anybody else in the
Reporter: From the looks of things, you've smurftainly
come a long way to change that image of yourself.
Smurfette: (doing her impression of Donna Summer) "I
smurf hard for you honeys, so you better treat me right!"
(Laughs) Well, since the last Smurfstock festival, I've smurfed
my singing voice to good use. Already, with the help of Empath
and a few other Smurf musicians, I've smurfed together an album
of my own called Ray Of Sunshine. Spinner is busy smurfing my
fifteen songs onto disks even as we smurf.
Reporter: Rolling Smurf says that your album will be more
successful than the likes of the Smurflings, Smurfs Without
Hats, and Azrael Rocks combined.
Smurfette: I don't wish for any Smurf with musical talent
to be upstaged by what I can offer, though I think the village
can live without the likes of Azrael Rocks and their
cat-squealing guitar noises. I can still smurf their Nine Lives
album in my sleep. (Rolls her eyes and shakes her head in horrid
Reporter: Do you think you would have pursued a career in
music if Empath wasn't around, Smurfette?
Smurfette: I probably would, but who would smurf me any
real guidance? Empath believes in me enough to make it worth
pursuing. It's just part of my journey from being what I used to
be into what I want to be. All I needed was the right Smurf to
give me any real inspiration to start the journey. And Empath
has been that inspiration. He helped me find the right Smurfs
for creating the music on this album, including Orbit, a
keyboardist with some interesting if rather spacey ideas for
melodies. He likes to be called the "2000 Smurf" for some
Reporter: "Haven't we smurfed, you must be the luckiest
male Smurf, you are the one for me, unlike any other male
Smurfette: That's Empath, all right! (Laughs.)
Reporter: So what exactly is the overall theme behind Ray
Smurfette: I think it's about the power of
transsmurfation. Like being changed from an artificially-created
Smurf into being a real Smurf. Only now this transsmurfation is
going from smurfly being satisfied with what I was originally to
wanting something more to smurf from my life.
Reporter: Well, "Smurfberry Candy Girl" and "Blue Skin"
sound a bit more...alluring than anything else on the album,
like you're still smurfing onto the Smurfette you used to
be...before Empath smurfed here for his 150th smurfday.
Smurfette: Well, what's wrong with that? "I'm not sorry,
it's Smurfette's nature." Some Smurfs would want me to think
that I don't enjoy smurfing at them all day! Truth be told, I
think you all look very smurfy to me, I just don't make a very
big smurf about it like you Smurfs do about me. I do,
however, like to tease Empath about the way he smurfs because
he's just so cute and handsome to smurf at, especially when he
blushes...not to mention that he doesn't smurf himself off very
often, because that's the way he is. I only wish he could
smurf his shirt off a bit more and not be afraid of how he
smurfs in front of anyone.
Reporter: Okay, let's look back to how you were seven
years ago. Gargamel smurfed you up in his castle, he smurfs you
out into the forest where Hefty finds you, he smurfs you back to
the village where every Smurf believes you came from another
village or somewhere, and then you almost flooded the village.
Was that really you smurfing all that? Were you really as
evil-minded as your creator was?
Smurfette: Confused would be the best word for it. If I
was as truly evil as Gargamel, I don't think every Smurf here
including yourself would be alive today, and we wouldn't even
have this interview. (Laughs ruefully.) At best, I was nothing
more than just confused about who and what I was.
Reporter: Did you find yourself feeling like you were at
home among your fellow Smurfs when you first smurfed into the
Smurfette: I felt at least some connection with all of
you, but I didn't really start feeling like a Smurf until
shortly after Papa Smurf recreated me into a real Smurf. That
was when I realized I had accidentally led every Smurf into a
trap set up by Gargamel, whom at that point I started to smurf
as a danger instead of my master.
Reporter: You smurfed a good impersonation of a male
Smurf when you rescued us from Gargamel that time.
Smurfette: (laughs.) Why, thank you, Reporter. Of course,
I never go so far as to smurf my head bald just to be like a
male Smurf. Though I wonder how every Smurf back then would have
reacted if I had gone smurfless [without a top]. (Blushes
Reporter: Don't worry, I'm sure every Smurf would still
(Smurfette briefly removes her hat to tease Reporter, and then
puts it back on her head.)
Smurfette: Sassette is bit more brave than I am when it
comes to smurfing the old fashion trends. When we smurfed her a
few years ago, she was wearing a hat and braids. Now she has a
big ponytail and doesn't even wear a hat.
Reporter: Vanity would say that a Smurf that doesn't wear
a hat isn't a Smurf at all.
Smurfette: He's just jealous that he doesn't have hair
like I do, or like Sassette does. But I still feel like a Smurf
no matter what I'm wearing. Or what I'm not wearing!
Reporter: Like the time you daringly
smurfed au naturale for the Smurf Art Festival where you
were chosen again as the subject for the art contest?
Smurfette: That was a one-time thing I
don't wish to repeat, because it did make me smurf so
embarrassed to smurf myself on display like that. But I'd
rather smurf through that again than having to smurf through
premature aging when I smurfed out that some witch had used a
spell of Syphonia to smurf me of my eternal youth and
beauty. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the results of what the
Smurfs did from my posing for them, particularly Baby Smurf's,
which I found surprising for a Smurf his age.
Reporter: Okay, let's talk about your relationship with
Sassette. You two are so much different, she being like a
tomsmurf and you being like a lady, and yet you bond together so
well. Is it because you're the only two female Smurfs here?
Smurfette: Well, yes and no. It wouldn't matter if this
village had nothing but female Smurfs in it, we'd still find
time to smurf things that most male Smurfs wouldn't find smurfy
for them to do. Me and Sassette are so fond of playing the
princess game, which is basically guessing which Smurf either of
us is thinking about and smurfing on a piece of jewelry for
every correct guess. We basically just let each other into our
own worlds. She gets to know what it's like to be like me, and I
get to know what it's like to be a Smurfling. Sassette reminds
me of the kind of Smurf I wish I were if I had been a real Smurf
from the very start.
Reporter: Speaking of female Smurfs, would you like to
have smurfed a village of female Smurfs
someday...hyposmurfically speaking, of course?
Smurfette: Well, I guess so. I just don't know if I would
want to smurf my name to something else if I even met
another...uh, Smurfette? (Laughs.)
Reporter: Now let's smurf to the point where you found
out that you were actually a Morph, one of those shapesmurfing
beings that Gargamel and Papa Smurf at one time believed were
nothing more than just inanimate blue clay. It must have been
fascinating to know that you could smurf yourself into anything
you can think of.
Smurfette: Actually, that was kind of scary. I must have
been too used to being a Smurf to even think of wanting to be
anything else. Of course, the female Morph that greeted me - if
you could even smurf that a female - tried to make me feel like
I was back among my own kind. Instead, she trapped me inside
that pool of Morphs and I would still be there as a Morph if
Empath hadn't brought Papa Smurf and Baby Smurf back to where we
smurfed the Morphs in that swamp.
Reporter: Do you regret no longer being an
artifically-created Smurf in that sense? Baby Smurf smurftainly
did a good job turning you into a real Smurf that even Empath
could no longer smurf the difference. That is what I would have
to call a miracle.
Smurfette: I never thought Baby Smurf would be that
capable of smurfing that myself. But as far as missing that
portion of myself, I guess I still do think of what I could have
been if I were still that kind of Smurf. Then again, being a
real Smurf has always been something I wanted more than anything
else in this world - well, other than wanting to find some Smurf
to marry someday, perhaps maybe Empath.
Reporter: Besides thoughts of marriage, do you have any
plans for the future?
Smurfette: Honestly, I like to smurf things one day at a
time. Though there are also times I would like to have a Baby
Smurfette of my own to smurf care of. I don't know if it's
possible, but then again nature smurfs in mysterious ways, so
Reporter: Well, Smurfette, I smurftainly hope to be there
when your first bundle of joy arrives!
Smurfette: That reminds me, Reporter, I have to go and
take care of Baby Smurf right now! Thanks for the interview!
NOTE: Smurfette is voiced by Lucille
Bliss in the Smurfs cartoon show and by Katy Perry in the 2011 Smurfs movie.